her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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