The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
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Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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