Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
