a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.