sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit