Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
