He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
