did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
