Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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