I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
