is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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