nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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