somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I need to stop coming to work sober
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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