i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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