So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
