she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize