Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
