I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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