By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
