Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
