Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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