I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
