dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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