I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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