One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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