i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
