so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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