Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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