the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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