I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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