Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
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bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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