So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
