Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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