Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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