Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
