why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
