What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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