there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
