you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
