The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
