dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
