the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
tell me about the fingering
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