i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
