Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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