The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
