U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
