Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That's when you crack a 10am beer
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
