Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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