Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
nutella sex= disaster
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
