Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
