it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
