If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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