Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.