I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said