Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.