His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
