And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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