Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
