i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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