You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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