Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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