i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
