There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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