Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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